Mindset, Money & Making it Happen during Divorce...or any life transition.
When I coach clients, I often break their journey into three areas; Mindset, Money, and Making it Happen which is simply executing the path forward.
I believe that when starting any new path in life, these areas build the foundation of a successful transition to the next chapter in your story. Recently, I sat with a woman who found herself in the middle of a divorce and at a crossroads in her life. As we talked, we broke down these three topics as they applied to her. Keep in mind that these three principles apply to men and women who find themselves in situations that no longer serve them, and when faced with a major life transition, seeking to find a more fulfilling path.
Mindset - Emotionally, she understands why her marriage broke down. She has put in the work to heal her inner thoughts and has grown from her experiences. Through the process, she pursued her interests in spiritual work and personal development. She spends time traveling and has enjoyed a few weekends with the girls, which involved both mourning and celebrating. Overall, she has gotten to a fairly good place in terms of mindset, although she hasn't decided what her life will look like past the next 12 months. I believe that's OK, as long as she continues to move forward in finding her true fulfillment for this next stage of her life. I applaud her outlook, and I am encouraged to see her thriving in her confidence. She is now in the right frame of mind and looking ahead to a more positive phase of her life.
Money - Financially, she is fairly secure which helps make the transition smoother. She is a licensed professional with a successful business that allows her to work online from anywhere she wants to be. For many years she has taken on the financial responsibility of putting her children through school and helping her husband start his business which ultimately failed. She feels comfortable knowing that she can support herself through this transition. She and her soon-to-be ex-husband share assets that they will continue to run together, and her children have now finished school, moving on to the next phase in their lives. She gains strength in understanding how much income she needs to continue her lifestyle and appreciates the time she put in to build a portfolio of rental properties, which now give her stability.
Making it Happen – Executing a path forward is where this gets interesting. What are the next steps? She isn’t sure. She knows she wants to live a mobile life, travel to the people and places she loves, and explore new destinations. Does she want to set new roots in one spot? Does she want to resume her work in person with clients or stay online? Again, she's not sure. Her timelines and planning are hazy beyond the next 12 months as she learns to live for herself, living each day with fulfillment. She took steps early on to secure her financial future, which now gives her flexibility to cover her immediate needs without locking in a long-term plan while she takes time to explore her new identity.
Why does this story matter?
Well, as I've watched her story unfold, I've seen her move through the transition without the usual worry and stress of finances during a divorce. I think we've all seen people who have not had this luxury. And we've seen people who stay in a bad marriage because of money. If we all start to use our own voices and choose to secure our financial future, we can smooth out the waves of any major life transition and make it easier to move forward towards a big, rich, prosperous life of fulfillment.The stress is lessened knowing there is food on the table, the ability to sleep at night knowing the bills are paid and that everyone is safe. That is not something easily achieved. It takes planning and an understanding that you must take control of your own financial security. Transitions in life can be good or bad, but they are always there. It’s up to us to ensure we are best prepared to weather them when they come!