Posts in coaching
Mindset, Money & Making it Happen during Divorce...or any life transition.

When I coach clients, I often break their journey into three areas; Mindset, Money, and Making it Happen which is simply executing the path forward.

I believe that when starting any new path in life, these areas build the foundation of a successful transition to the next chapter in your story. Recently, I sat with a woman who found herself in the middle of a divorce and at a crossroads in her life. As we talked, we broke down these three topics as they applied to her. Keep in mind that these three principles apply to men and women who find themselves in situations that no longer serve them, and when faced with a major life transition, seeking to find a more fulfilling path.

Mindset - Emotionally, she understands why her marriage broke down. She has put in the work to heal her inner thoughts and has grown from her experiences. Through the process, she pursued her interests in spiritual work and personal development. She spends time traveling and has enjoyed a few weekends with the girls, which involved both mourning and celebrating. Overall, she has gotten to a fairly good place in terms of mindset, although she hasn't decided what her life will look like past the next 12 months. I believe that's OK, as long as she continues to move forward in finding her true fulfillment for this next stage of her life. I applaud her outlook, and I am encouraged to see her thriving in her confidence. She is now in the right frame of mind and looking ahead to a more positive phase of her life.

Money - Financially, she is fairly secure which helps make the transition smoother. She is a licensed professional with a successful business that allows her to work online from anywhere she wants to be. For many years she has taken on the financial responsibility of putting her children through school and helping her husband start his business which ultimately failed. She feels comfortable knowing that she can support herself through this transition. She and her soon-to-be ex-husband share assets that they will continue to run together, and her children have now finished school, moving on to the next phase in their lives. She gains strength in understanding how much income she needs to continue her lifestyle and appreciates the time she put in to build a portfolio of rental properties, which now give her stability.

Making it Happen – Executing a path forward is where this gets interesting. What are the next steps? She isn’t sure. She knows she wants to live a mobile life, travel to the people and places she loves, and explore new destinations. Does she want to set new roots in one spot? Does she want to resume her work in person with clients or stay online? Again, she's not sure. Her timelines and planning are hazy beyond the next 12 months as she learns to live for herself, living each day with fulfillment. She took steps early on to secure her financial future, which now gives her flexibility to cover her immediate needs without locking in a long-term plan while she takes time to explore her new identity.

Why does this story matter?

Well, as I've watched her story unfold, I've seen her move through the transition without the usual worry and stress of finances during a divorce. I think we've all seen people who have not had this luxury. And we've seen people who stay in a bad marriage because of money. If we all start to use our own voices and choose to secure our financial future, we can smooth out the waves of any major life transition and make it easier to move forward towards a big, rich, prosperous life of fulfillment.The stress is lessened knowing there is food on the table, the ability to sleep at night knowing the bills are paid and that everyone is safe. That is not something easily achieved. It takes planning and an understanding that you must take control of your own financial security. Transitions in life can be good or bad, but they are always there. It’s up to us to ensure we are best prepared to weather them when they come!

Get Real. Get Clarity. Get Going!

Life is short, live it well.  To me, this is much more than a pithy saying to be thrown around.  

YOLO.  You Only Live Once.  Yes, that's true as well.  And honestly, it's time to stop saying these things instead of living them!

My mother and my grandmother both died in their mid-forties.  My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer at that same age.  A few years later her own daughter, my treasured cousin, died a few months before her 40th birthday.  So you can understand why I try to truly LIVE these sayings each and every day that I'm blessed to be on this planet.  And I now feel that I owe it to these 3 women we lost too young to make it the best damn life I can!

A few years ago I had a little health scare and had to sit down with my close family for a tough conversation.  Well, I thought I was going to have a conversation.  My older son stopped me and said "Mom. We know.  Trust me.  We know.  And yes, we will leave the world a better place than we found it.".    His words stopped me in my tracks as I realized I must be living my true authentic self somehow if he truly understood that.

Are you living your true authentic self? 

Are you living life as well as you can?  Every single day?

Do you realize YOLO?  Do you think about that and take opportunities that are presented to you?

Do those you love get to live in that love daily?  Have you influenced them to live their lives in a way that fulfills them and encourages them to leave the world a better place?

I truly hope you do!  Some people call this "flow".  That sweet spot in life where you are living your best life, in alignment in your life, your love and your career.  Are you on the best path for YOU?  Or are there changes and tweaks you'd like to make to ensure you are?

I recently spent time with Brendon Burchard who asks himself 3 questions each night as he reviews his day:

Today, did I live?
Today, did I love?
Today, did I matter?

Powerful questions.  What questions do you ask yourself each night?

Is your career or business providing you with the financial means to take the life opportunities you want to?  It's not all about money but money does bring a certain freedom with it so it's a pretty large portion of this conversation.  I coach mindset, money, and making it happen because I believe they need to be aligned to truly give you freedom to live joyfully and fulfilled.

I’ve worked with various coaches over the years and live the results.  If you've never worked with a coach, let's chat about the concept.  And if you want to upgrade your life, I may just be the coach you want by your side as you celebrate & sip some bubbly! 

Cheers,
Deanna