When I coach clients, I often break their journey into three areas; Mindset, Money, and Making it Happen which is simply executing the path forward.

I believe that when starting any new path in life, these areas build the foundation of a successful transition to the next chapter in your story. Recently, I sat with a woman who found herself in the middle of a divorce and at a crossroads in her life. As we talked, we broke down these three topics as they applied to her. Keep in mind that these three principles apply to men and women who find themselves in situations that no longer serve them, and when faced with a major life transition, seeking to find a more fulfilling path.

Mindset - Emotionally, she understands why her marriage broke down. She has put in the work to heal her inner thoughts and has grown from her experiences. Through the process, she pursued her interests in spiritual work and personal development. She spends time traveling and has enjoyed a few weekends with the girls, which involved both mourning and celebrating. Overall, she has gotten to a fairly good place in terms of mindset, although she hasn't decided what her life will look like past the next 12 months. I believe that's OK, as long as she continues to move forward in finding her true fulfillment for this next stage of her life. I applaud her outlook, and I am encouraged to see her thriving in her confidence. She is now in the right frame of mind and looking ahead to a more positive phase of her life.

Money - Financially, she is fairly secure which helps make the transition smoother. She is a licensed professional with a successful business that allows her to work online from anywhere she wants to be. For many years she has taken on the financial responsibility of putting her children through school and helping her husband start his business which ultimately failed. She feels comfortable knowing that she can support herself through this transition. She and her soon-to-be ex-husband share assets that they will continue to run together, and her children have now finished school, moving on to the next phase in their lives. She gains strength in understanding how much income she needs to continue her lifestyle and appreciates the time she put in to build a portfolio of rental properties, which now give her stability.

Making it Happen – Executing a path forward is where this gets interesting. What are the next steps? She isn’t sure. She knows she wants to live a mobile life, travel to the people and places she loves, and explore new destinations. Does she want to set new roots in one spot? Does she want to resume her work in person with clients or stay online? Again, she's not sure. Her timelines and planning are hazy beyond the next 12 months as she learns to live for herself, living each day with fulfillment. She took steps early on to secure her financial future, which now gives her flexibility to cover her immediate needs without locking in a long-term plan while she takes time to explore her new identity.

Why does this story matter?

Well, as I've watched her story unfold, I've seen her move through the transition without the usual worry and stress of finances during a divorce. I think we've all seen people who have not had this luxury. And we've seen people who stay in a bad marriage because of money. If we all start to use our own voices and choose to secure our financial future, we can smooth out the waves of any major life transition and make it easier to move forward towards a big, rich, prosperous life of fulfillment.The stress is lessened knowing there is food on the table, the ability to sleep at night knowing the bills are paid and that everyone is safe. That is not something easily achieved. It takes planning and an understanding that you must take control of your own financial security. Transitions in life can be good or bad, but they are always there. It’s up to us to ensure we are best prepared to weather them when they come!

I was recently asked by a women in her 40’s how she could “get her financial sh*t together”. She’d just suffered a bad breakup and realized she was basically starting all over with no idea of what she was going to do for money in the next year, let alone thinking ahead to retirement (which she was picturing may involve cat food).

She told me she had some money in a retirement fund, a bit of consumer debt, she didn’t own her own home and she was happy that Covid was disguising the fact that she couldn’t afford a fancy vacation with her girlfriends.

Cat food? Retirement? No Vacation? YIKES, I thought. I gotta help a girlfriend out!

The term Finanical Feminism is gaining traction these days as we all start to think about financial equality. I truly believe that women, people of colour, those with disabilities and members of the LGBTQ community have suffered too long with inequality, being paid less and not being promoted to leadership roles or having access to funding to start their own companies for far too long. So, let’s unpack why Financial Feminism, and equality for ALL, are important (although I’ll stick with gender for now).

Women currently earn far less than men. They may or may not have access to maternity/childcare leave benefits but we all know that taking time away from work further impacts most working women who then play catch up. Now let’s consider women who don’t work outside the home (for a variety of reasons) or who don’t have access to their own money. Let’s think about single mothers who are just trying to keep it together financially while keeping their families together. Then we layer on this age old societal crap that “nice girls don’t talk about money”.

It’s got to stop! Women have got to feel empowered to take responsibility for their own financial well being. They have to take the time to learn (read books, listen to podcasts, take courses) to understand the balance sheet of their own lives! They need to understand their expenses and their income. They need to make a plan to bring in more than goes out. They need to understand how to control both sides and how to build savings so they can sleep at night!

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If you are in your 20’s and reading this, congratulations! You are ahead of the curve. You have time on your side. Start saving and compounding interest will work its magic. Don’t ever turn over control of your finances or let someone else’s dreams be funded before yours.

If you are in your 30’s, you are busy! Likely you are building a business, a career and/or a family….maybe all 3 at the same time. It’s more important than ever that you keep in mind where you are headed because your Why is the only thing that will get you through some of the crazy days you face! You may need to spend some money on additional help to ensure you are living a life that is sustainable. That’s OK! You may by single, married or not sure. One thing you must be sure of is that whatever status you are, you choose it. Every day. Don’t let lack of money make you stay if it shouldn’t. And most of all, be kind to yourself. These days will pass quickly.

In your 40’s? You either likely feel like you are getting it figured out or wondering how the heck you ended up here when you were 18 just yesterday! Hopefully you’ve got a pretty good handle on who you are and what you want your days to look like. You may have reached a few milestones in life, you may be thrilled with your success or you may be wondering where it all went wrong. BUT if you haven’t got your finanical sh*t together by now, you can’t wait another day! You are a grown woman and it’s time your balance sheet reflected that (both in the sense of your net worth and your life worth).

Women in their 50’s often find financial setbacks to be most scary. Whether related to marriage breakdown, job loss or business failure, it’s not easy to be starting over when you feel retirement is coming up so quicky. You have incredible opportunities for reinvention and sharing your experience. And if you are not in control of your finances then yes, put down whatever you are doing and let’s talk! You likely have a bit of money that you should be leveraging to ensure the best possible returns. It is truly time to grab that bull by the horns and make some smart decisions. I recently spoke with a woman in her 50’s who has lived in Canada about 10 years, started over after fleeing everything and has done well taking care of her emotional health and basic needs while building up some equity on her home. When I opened her eyes to some passive investing techniques that could generate cash flow, the dam opened. This women DESERVES whatever we can squeeze out of the hard work she has put in to restart her life. She is ready to take control!

And for those of you who have the privilege of living into your retirement, I hope you continue to practice Financial Feminism by paying attention to the money, by watching your retirement funds, by continuing to learn and grow so that advisors can’t steer you wrong! Make it a game to see how much you can earn with those savings. And enjoy every day!

Ladies - we all deserve to be raging Financial Feminists. We owe it to each other and to those who love us to know the where, how and why of our finances. Only when we have that, can we truly ensure that the balance sheet of our life is offering us the opportunity to live freely of worries, to live in the prosperity of joy and to have the confidence to live our best lives knowing we are financially secure! Feminists unite!

~db

Life is short, live it well.  To me, this is much more than a pithy saying to be thrown around.  

YOLO.  You Only Live Once.  Yes, that's true as well.  And honestly, it's time to stop saying these things instead of living them!

My mother and my grandmother both died in their mid-forties.  My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer at that same age.  A few years later her own daughter, my treasured cousin, died a few months before her 40th birthday.  So you can understand why I try to truly LIVE these sayings each and every day that I'm blessed to be on this planet.  And I now feel that I owe it to these 3 women we lost too young to make it the best damn life I can!

A few years ago I had a little health scare and had to sit down with my close family for a tough conversation.  Well, I thought I was going to have a conversation.  My older son stopped me and said "Mom. We know.  Trust me.  We know.  And yes, we will leave the world a better place than we found it.".    His words stopped me in my tracks as I realized I must be living my true authentic self somehow if he truly understood that.

Are you living your true authentic self? 

Are you living life as well as you can?  Every single day?

Do you realize YOLO?  Do you think about that and take opportunities that are presented to you?

Do those you love get to live in that love daily?  Have you influenced them to live their lives in a way that fulfills them and encourages them to leave the world a better place?

I truly hope you do!  Some people call this "flow".  That sweet spot in life where you are living your best life, in alignment in your life, your love and your career.  Are you on the best path for YOU?  Or are there changes and tweaks you'd like to make to ensure you are?

I recently spent time with Brendon Burchard who asks himself 3 questions each night as he reviews his day:

Today, did I live?
Today, did I love?
Today, did I matter?

Powerful questions.  What questions do you ask yourself each night?

Is your career or business providing you with the financial means to take the life opportunities you want to?  It's not all about money but money does bring a certain freedom with it so it's a pretty large portion of this conversation.  I coach mindset, money, and making it happen because I believe they need to be aligned to truly give you freedom to live joyfully and fulfilled.

I’ve worked with various coaches over the years and live the results.  If you've never worked with a coach, let's chat about the concept.  And if you want to upgrade your life, I may just be the coach you want by your side as you celebrate & sip some bubbly! 

Cheers,
Deanna